Low frustration tolerance can cause difficulties at an interpersonal level, both in work, family, and other relationships. In today’s article, we’ll see how to deal with it.
How much do you think this condition impacts your life? Although it may seem to be linked to a result, it has an influence from the beginning in the attitude with which we predispose ourselves.
Is it the same to start a project and get discouraged at any difficulty because it doesn’t turn out the way you wanted? Rather than start again and accept that there are difficulties and learn from them? Undoubtedly not, but you rarely become aware of it. Tolerance to frustration is part of learning.
What is low frustration tolerance?
This condition relates to how well you manage your emotions when faced with an event that doesn’t turn out as you imagined. In other words, when your expectations are not met, frustration may appear.
People with low frustration tolerance are very demanding, especially with themselves. But also with others. At the same time, they tend to be rigid, with little capacity to adapt. Also, they tend to be left with the bitter taste of what they have not achieved.
Again, low frustration tolerance can cause difficulties at the interpersonal level, both in work, family, or friendship relationships. This happens because the person is unable to control the discomfort they feel in the face of dissatisfaction. They often blame others for getting in the way.
How can frustration tolerance be improved?
Some recommended strategies for developing frustration tolerance include the following:
- Set realistic goals: If every time you set out to accomplish something and the scenarios and resources are not within your reach, you are likely to become frustrated in advance because the task seems unattainable. It is not about mediocrity or settling, but about being fair with yourself and adjusting to what you are capable of achieving at a given time.
- Plan projects: Planning projects according to your capabilities and setting realistic goals is the first step to tolerate frustration. This applies to work teams as well.
- Analyze the situation: All situations have something to teach us. A necessary step to learn how to get out of frustration has to do with assessing strengths and weaknesses to better prepare yourself.
On the other hand, it is also helpful to recognize multiple paths to the same outcome. Sometimes it can be helpful to incorporate the point of view of others to get out of one’s own blockage.
Learning to manage emotions
Frustration is expressed through emotions; sometimes anger and irritation, sometimes discouragement, sometimes blockage. Therefore, when faced with an event, it is important to learn to identify your feelings.
Accept that it is part of the process. Don’t stay with the emotion and let it go. In this way, you can not only feel better but also learn from it.
Low frustration tolerance: Benefits
Learning to tolerate frustration will allow you to better cope with challenging and difficult situations. That is why it brings numerous benefits, among which you find the following:
It prepares you for any scenario
Life is not a bed of roses; sometimes things go well, and sometimes they don’t. Therefore, you could say that frustration is a potential outcome of anything you undertake.
This does not mean that you should be discouraged, but you should remember that difficulties are part of everything. In this way, you avoid the permanent fear of failure.
It guides you to look for solutions
People who learn to develop frustration tolerance don’t ruminate on the bitter taste of the result but manage to turn that discomfort into resilience. They play a proactive role in the search for solutions.
Helps develop patience
As a counterpart to the impatience of those who fall more easily in the face of frustration, people who learn to live with it understand that some rhythms and times cannot always be managed.
Thus, by recognizing that they don’t have control over many aspects, they also understand that waiting is necessary.
Those who learn to tolerate frustration are not the target of their own criticism. They can differentiate to what extent they are responsible for a situation and seek improvement, but they don’t blame themselves for everything.
In this sense, by separating responsibility and blame, the emotional tone also changes. Of course, this impacts self-esteem, as a person who blames themselves for everything will end up feeling incapable of taking any project or task forward.
Recommended activities to encourage frustration tolerance
Frustration tolerance is learned and exercised, so it is always possible to carry out different activities to improve it. Among them, you can find the following:
As we mentioned, frustration is a complex emotional world whose knowledge and management are important to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
However, with the pace of everyday life, most people don’t spend enough time thinking about how they feel or how certain events affect them.
In many cases, it is recommended to use a journal to help you learn how to identify and manage emotions. In this way, you can record your emotions and then analyze them in terms of the situation. Was it appropriate to react in this way? Could you have done it differently?
Learning to relax
Hand in hand with the previous point, learning to manage emotions has to do with maintaining or finding calm in those moments that are difficult for us. For example, through breathing exercises, we can clear our minds to take the next step.
Analyzing your thoughts and behaviors
This is often a technique taught during cognitive therapy. Distinguishing the thoughts that arise in a situation and how they affect our next action is the key.
Emotional management allows us to tolerate failures in order to try projects again.
Thus, it is possible to see how the person gets caught in a loop that increases frustration, discomfort, and anxiety. The objective is to construct alternative thoughts or scenarios to face situations differently.
Frustration is everywhere
Frustration goes hand in hand with motivation; that’s why it is crucial to learn to manage it. If your goals are always unattainable and unrealistic expectations, you may never be satisfied and feel frustrated.
In addition, it is necessary to understand that when we talk about frustration, we are not talking about great feats but rather that it is present in small, everyday matters. Failing an exam or missing the subway can trigger discomfort.
The importance of learning to live with frustration should not be minimized since, beyond the effects in specific situations, its continuous presence has consequences on mental health.
Consumers and society accustom us to the idea that all rewards must be immediate. However, there are life’s own limitations that don’t make this possible. It would help if you learned to value the effort beyond the result.
How to use frustration to your advantage
If you want to advance in your goals, you must see frustration as an engine that pushes you forward and encourages you to continue and not as a burden.
When the results we get are not what we expect, it is common for frustration to manifest or increase. At this point, it isn’t easy to see the real situation and, even more, to move forward in your goals.
What we tend to forget is that the path to get what we want is seldom straight. We often encounter situations of failure and challenges that make us grow before we reach our goals.
This happens no matter if it is about work, love relationships, or any other kind of goal. Instead of falling victim to disappointment, follow these tips. You’ll find that moving forward on your goals despite frustration is possible.
You may even be surprised to discover that frustration can become a positive and impactful element in the process. After all, when it comes, it’s because some of the decisions you’re making are wrong, and you need to change.
Create a plan that allows you to move forward with your goals
How clear are you about the goal you want to reach? Do you know the steps you need to take to get there? Do you know the tools you need? When frustration sets in, it’s usually because you lack a plan.
It doesn’t matter if you want to lose weight, eat healthier, change jobs, or have a better relationship. For all of these, you need to know what you want and how you want it. Once you are clear on all this, you will move forward with your goals successfully.
This doesn’t mean that you must have every step of the day well defined, from when you get up to when you go to bed. It is likely that if you do this, frustration will build-up, and then the result will be worse.
Then work on them consciously and steadily, but give yourself the freedom to do activities that make your day more enjoyable.
When you reach the goal for the day, dedicate your time to the rest of the things or people that require your attention.
It is also important that you take care of all your life habits. You can start with your diet, as certain nutrients can help improve mood, according to a study published in Nutrients.
Create reasonable goals
If you get frustrated, you may find yourself creating goals that are too ambitious and almost impossible to achieve. In this regard, try to find the middle ground.
Frustration will say that, to advance your goals, you need to go faster and act more aggressively. That wake-up call is good, but don’t listen to it completely. Instead, analyze each goal and determine the extent to which it is possible, healthy, and feasible.
Then, create a scale of goals. Put the simplest and easiest ones first, and as you meet them, add complexity. This snowball effect will benefit from frustration if you can master it.
Avoid taking things too seriously
One of the big problems with frustration is that everything seems bigger and more serious when we see things through it. So, it’s good for you to learn to see things more calmly.
Frustration is likely to make you feel that you’re dooming yourself to it forever if you don’t quit that job soon. Yes, we know. It seems like an overly dramatic view, but that’s how things tend to look when you fall victim to frustration.
Keep in mind that this feeling is closely related to anxiety and depression, so if magnified, it can significantly alter your mood.
To advance your goals, it is important to learn to see life in a more relaxed way. Life by itself is complicated enough in every aspect, so try to turn it around as much as you can.
Don’t see goals or objectives as serious and crucial, even if they are. Rather learn to see everything as a big challenge or game.
With this change of attitude, you will see that achieving what you set out to do becomes easier, and you will be calmer.
Learn from your mistakes
Most people fall victim to frustration because they give too much importance to their mistakes. Try not to do that. Because if you do, you’ll spend your life regretting what went wrong and become stagnate.
Instead, accept that you made a mistake and evaluate it:
- What did you do?
- Why was it wrong?
- Who did you affect?
- What could you have done about it?
- How could you have avoided the mistake?
Once you have the answers to these questions, move on. If you feel you can’t move forward on your goals, ask yourself if it is because you are focusing on these questions only.
Seeing that you made a mistake and asking yourself these questions is healthy, but it does no good if you cannot move forward.
Also, keep in mind that promoting certain habits, such as playing sports, can help you overcome frustration. According to a study published in General Hospital Psychiatry, it helps improve mood.
Improve the way you deal low frustration tolerance
Definitely, everyone decides how to live and make the most of what they experience and live.
Just remember that you have the ability to use frustration as an engine that takes you where you want to be or as an anchor that leaves you stranded.
We believe that if you can continue despite everything, frustration can become one of your greatest allies.